I’m going to write about ADHD.
It has to be honest- like, something that encapsulates the experience of losing your path, but not so much in fog or by obstruction or in the way that makes you slaughter younglings and forget that Obi-Wan gets a +2 modifier when equipping ‘The High Ground’. It’s more that- when you’re a bit heavier on the AD as opposed to the HD, at least- it’s more that there is an abundance of paths not named Katherine, who hold your gaze; equivocal in demand of urgency and anxiety fuel.
I’m going to write about ADHD.
But in order to write, I need to eat, right?
Heh. Wordplay.
It’s Saturday, and you’ve been pretty baller with the diet and let’s get some McDonalds.
Oh! You can also vacuum your car on the way home, you can grab a pack of bottled water from the Kroger next to the McDonalds- you’ll be running Uber and Lyft tonight and nothing suggests “I should probably tip that guy,” Like waking to the morning miracle of your strange, laconic, sometimes wonderful until you remember that in a different zip code 16 year-olds are literally dying of the flu for not sharing the same blots of ink on the same do not laminate papers- finding that somehow it’s a little better because that twitchy be-dreadlocked guy- yes, the same one sitting on the app you never closed out next to the 15% or 20% gratuity question, the same who got weird when I touched his hair, took a moment to save my morning by making sure I was hydrated.
Okay. You’ll do all the things.
And you’ll write about having ADHD.
SO, you got your biscuit sandwich, why the drive thru lady, or rather herald of diabetes gave you three strawberry jams is a question for another day- you got your hash- oh, is that an extra hash brown?
This is your fucking day.
Okay, okay okay okay, now it’s time to sit down hash out your ideas, have some coffee, find your
Vyvanse.
Oh!
Definitely make sure to mention that- mental note, find a way at some point in your piece to Segway, with subtlety underline, into how your medication alongside a healthy dose of meditation, works to help manage symptoms, but not miracle work. How it acts as a kind of 1-a-day superpower everyone else seems to have in focusing on a smaller landscape- granted, you’re still responsible for making sure that focus is placed on work and not the blue bird pit of madness and tears and sometimes cute cat videos to show your wife later to distract her from the fact that you totally just ate that shred of shitake mushroom from your beard.
Okay. Hotty McWriter Hot. Time to write this oooohh coffee poops.
How did that happen so fast!?
Okay, we’re wiped, our hands are washed, and yes, that is us in the mirror- our beard is the living embodiment of the broken hero movie trope. The one that displays our weary idol either imprisoned, impoverished, inhibited but always unkempt- by the woes of act two, summarily too sad to shave- each scattershot splinter like a gross sad boy tear on their face.
You have one problem.
One double A sized problem.
The saddest part about all this is that you know, you know that finding AA batteries in this AAA house is as easy as getting the Boardwalk sticker in a sea of Park Places during the McDonalds monopoly game you always almost win. If you weren’t such an idiot, you’d have known to grab some from- oh hell, you didn’t go to Kroger to get waters. You didn’t vacuum your car.
You effing, effing idiot.
Well, flog yourself later twat, you have words to put down, because, you’re going to write about having ADHD. Let’s go upstairs to grab your tablet…
When you start writing, don’t do the ‘Hollywood ADHD thing’ you know? The whole, here’s a child screaming and slamming his face into a drawer of knives- cut to 32-year old model mommy shaking their head solemnly over a coffee mug in her 300,000 dollar kitchen before a voice over chimes in with, “You’re not a bad parent! You just have a broken child.” Let’s show that- shit I don’t know, things are different, but they aren’t impossible.
OK. Computer found, the surprisingly not bad coffee is flowing through, Vyvanse powers activating in T-minus fifteen-ish?
Let’s get to fucking work.
Oh, shit, am I allowed to cuss? Okay let’s see if their post mentioned anything about the audience age or otherwise, Facebook.com… Writing Against The Stigma…
Ok! I’m sure it’s fine but, there’s an e-mail address here, and before we write about having ADHD, let’s just do a little confirmation first.
Subject: Event On 01/05/2020 Inquiry
I was reaching out because I came across the event post on Facebook and had a question about content for the event. I love the idea of the prompt and made sure to review the mission of your organization before beginning a project, but more specifically I was concerned about swearing and imagery. While I'm confident that the piece I'm working on is a reflection of my experience and am open to adjustments after the piece is received if necessary, I thought it a good idea to just check in about it. Thanks so much for your time and I look forward to hearing from you!
Best Regards,
Charlie Eskew
Okay.
Time to do the thing.
Let’s write about having ADHD.